All over the internet people are saying that McCain sucks, and who wouldn’t, he’s old, white, and apparently grumpy?
The first thing I’d like to go over is this video, where McCain refuses to shake Obama’s hand out of disdain for him. It looks to me like he was just introducing his wife…
Bush is now the least popular president… I’m guessing “of all time” but I’m not politically informed to well now. Since Bush is a republican endorsing his fellow republican’s campaign, many deem McCain to be the same as Bush in tactics. Of course thar are some statistics that prove he’s similar to Bush on his voting trends.
Here’s a cartoon to lighten the mood, and hate for McCain (which I didn’t draw, but ripped from an article found through digg). Based on the internet’s popular belief that McCain sucks, it’s becoming more and more apparent that he might not win this election. Of course it was always possible that he could lose the election, it’s just… more obvious that he will lose now.
I’m rambling on, and once again, am bored with this post that was supposed to be long and meaningful. Maybe i need riddylin (spell check says that is right?).
Stay Classy Fellas
So I herd you liekmudkipz?. In Soviet Russia, Mudkipz lieks you!
I’m just going to upload the pdf so you can see my google analytics chart… Hopefully it will make it so you can view the pdf rather than having to download the damn thing. If it does make you download it than I’m not the type of person who would expect you to download it. I mean? It’s possibly a virus, or malware, or some kind of bestiality porn… Just in case you’re into that kind of stuff.
So anyways, here’s my Loyalty Report thanks to Google Analytics.
Just in case the picture isn’t visible, i’ll just say what the chart says anyways. Out of 144 visitors in the past week. 120 of them came to the site once and never came once! On the other end… about 10 people came back to the site 9-15 times, which is actually very surprising to me. Anyways, thank you loyal readers… you know who you are!
(Unless all 10 people were me and it just had something to do with faulty cookies… :D, then fuck you readers!)
After submitting the “Hottest Actresses” post to digg, and getting about 100 unique views total from it, I was shocked when I noticed that my feedburner subscribers actually went down. Not down by a whole lot, but when you don’t have many to begin with, you’re going to hope that the subscription rate continues to go up rather than down. Unless you’re testing the fate of humanity with a humorous website that says “Subscribe and you will instantly win 1,000,000 dollars”. So, not only am I little put off my incapabilities of getting to the front page with my most recent article (it’s easier than it seems), but I’m also put-off by my decline of subscribers.
This thinning, of readers could be for a multitude of reasons… These reasons cannot be professionally analyzed by my person though, as I am no professional. (Notice innapropriate use of fancy sentence structure).
Instead of wining about the 1 subscriber I lost, (which is actually common daily fluxuation when your posting habits suck ass) I’m going to write a list of things which have helped me to get readers, and will help me to get more readers in the future.
If you’d like to learn more about these tools, Google them, kind sirs.
1) Mybloglog: This tool owns so much, every single backlink I have for my blog comes from mybloglog, I don’t know how it works exactly, but this are some pretty powerful links, and I’m using them to my advantage. Simply sign up, add the code they give you (to where they tell you to) and your posts will be put under upcoming lists for certain categories. It may actually have something to do with the tags you give your posts.
2) Auto-social-Poster: Automatically submits your posts to a list of social bookmarking websites that you supply. This is a so-so tool, you have to have enough accounts for each bookmarking website to get noticed at all. I actually haven’t been using this tool at all though, as it takes over 10 minutes to set up effectively, and I’m a lazy asshole with absolutely no drive to succeed in this blogging business.
3) Dosh Dosh: Straight up, writes like a mixture of a classicist and romanticist. If you know what Dosh Dosh is, then chances are… you will win at life and everything else.
4) Stumbleupon: Ok, so this is pretty much just pointless burst traffic… but it’s visitors all the same. And whether you’re increasing your alexa ranking, or your subscribers, it still helps you out. I haven’t been a very active stumbler lately, so I don’t have much power bringing traffic to webpages. I did however, get a good 500 unique visitors for the last article I submitted (over a week or so ago).
5) Go Outside, Talk to Girls: Always helpful.. when you can’t figure out exactly what you’re doing online. You can find inspiration from real life situations of the third kind.
….my god my attention span when writing these actually meaningful posts just deserts me…
I’m sure this is not the correct name for the muscle cramp phenomenon. It’s what I’ve called this problem I’ve had mostly in the past few years. Charlie Horses are quite possibly the most painfully uncomfortable physical ailment I have ever felt, and I urge everyone to steer clear of them.
To Avoid Charlie Horses:
1: Avoid moving your limbs in strange positions
2: Eat Bananas
3: Don’t allow yourself to get overworked
4: Don’t yawn when you’re actually tired… (Neck Charlie Horses are SICK)
5: Have sex Often, and remember the Age of Consent.
My Love
Here is a Charlie Horse, Not the phenomenon I speak of… but humorous in that it is a homophone (I think). For, what are an homophone’s definition!?
Long Legs = More Charlie Horses
Working yourself into the ground is one of the easiest ways to cause a charlie horse. My most memorable situation with charlie horses, was during wrestling practice, on an exceptionally hard season practice. We were simply jogging, but I was tired from the earlier drills and workouts. My body totally hated me and started spasming up all over the place… I had a charlie horse in every part of my body and all i could do was flop down on the ground and quiver. Of course, all the while everyone was walking by liek “WTF YU DOIN ON TEH GROUNDS” and I was just LIEK “I’m an pussy durr”.
“Holy hot dicks from hell”… This list needs more nudes.
-I wrote it a while back, so I can’t really deliver.
There are thousands of pretty women in movies every year, throughout the year, and without falter. With that being said, there is a much fewer amount of attractive women in blockbusters, and prominent feature films. You’ll probably want to go back and re-watch some of these movies once you realize who’s in them. Unfortunately, remembering the women that got you aroused at first site is hard (without reference), so here is my list of the top 20 hotttest actresses in the last 5 years. (in no particular order)
Jennifer Garner
In movies like Daredevil, and Juno she’s sure to have some stalkers. She’s in many movies, but has never really been considered a sex-symbol.
Kirsten Dunst
The female star of the Spiderman Series, and a hotty from a young age. She continues to appear in movies, and dazzle the male viewers.
Angelina Jolie
Once considered the hottest woman alive. Now pushed down on the list a bit, but still in the top 10 on FHM.
Salma Hayek
an Academy Award-nominated Mexican actress, Daytime Emmy-winning director, and a film and television producer. Hayek has appeared in more than thirty films, but is well known for Spy Kids and Ugly Betty.
Eva Mendes
She’s the female star of many well-known, but not well-liked movies. You can find her in movies like We Own the Night, and Ghost Rider.
Penélope Cruz
She has also starred in several American films such as Blow and Bandidas. Her more-recent films have all been non-American I guess?
Scarlett Johansson
Best known for her part in Lost in Translation, and her nicely shaped breasts. One of my favorite actresses, not just for looks.
Halle Berry
One of the most famous hotties on this list. If you don’t know her name, then you probably don’t know much about movies. Halle Berry was in the last 007 movie that featured Pierce Brosnan.
Cameron Diaz
Well known for her spunky attitude, and height. Yes, she’s pretty damn tall.
Jessica Biel
One of those unforgettable hotties that usually makes the movie you’re watching so much more interesting.
Anne Hathaway
A star in this year’s Get Smart movie. She looked good in the past, does now, and still will years in the future.
Kate Beckinsale
Seen in Click, Underworld, and many other big-name movies. Kate Beckinsale was talked about a lot for her part in Underworld. I just realized that in 4/5 of her most recent films, her name starts with an A.
Nicole Kidman
She has a somewhat sophisticated beauty about her. Recently seen in The Golden Compass.
Keira Knightley
Well known for her part in Pirates of the Caribbean, she has been becoming more and more popular lately.
Eva Longoria
Star of Desperate Housewives, and arguably the best looking. In my opinion, she is.
Elisha Cuthbert
Ever since the release of Girl Next Door, Elisha Cuthbert’s popularity has been increasing, and I don’t have any problems with that.
Michelle Yeoh
One of the sexiest kung fu girls of all time. She can be found in many recent movies, but Memoirs of a Geisha is probably the most memorable.
Jessica Alba
Last years hottest woman based on FHM’s poll. This year she’s in second place and still very close to being first again.
Hayden Panettiere
The super-hero that can’t die from injury. Probably the sexiest 18 year old actress there ever was.
Megan Fox
Ranked number 1 on FHM’s list of the 100 hottest women of the year. She recently co-starred in Transformers, and can be expected in more future films.
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Now I can end this list with a picture of Whoopi Goldberg… R.I.P. Son.
Tabloids and Social Media: Ever since Hilton was documented in a dumb celebrity magazine and scrutinized mercilessly by some well-brought-up guy who knows how to write (a lot better than me), people have felt it necessary to do the same. Since bad news is the best news and Paris commits the acts common of any celebrity, there are plenty of ugly gashes in her reputation. Her fame is built around party-girl publicity stunts, and not much more.
Inherited Riches: Since Paris’s parents owned the chain of hotels and were already multi-millionaires’ when she was born, there was almost no way of getting around being famous. The only question was, how famous would she get, and would she even need to take action in order to build up her fame? One of the biggest reasons people hate Paris Hilton is because they think she inherited all of her fame, and has done nothing to deserve it.
Paris as an Actress: Paris sucks at acting, yet she’s still in movies? Almost any movie Paris Hilton is in sucks horribly. Unless it’s a movie that she doesn’t star in, and has the absolute minimum of screen time. Movies like The Hottie and the Nottie or anything other movie that revolves around Paris are completely Miss, not even Hit and Miss.
Paris as a Singer: I remember watching one of Paris Hilton’s music videos and thinking “wtf is this shit” as she did an ‘I’m going to sex you up’ dance around some kid. I don’t recall the name of the video, nor do I want to go searching for it, although a successful writer would probably do that for the sake of the article. Anyways, many people argue that she actually does have some good songs, and I can’t really agree with that. On the Song Jealousy (in the video below)Quote officialleeny (from you tube) - “I don’t really like her, but some of her songs are really good.”Don’t let it shock you too much, but the majority of the rest of the comments on that video are hateful.
Paris as a Model: Sure she’s pretty, maybe even supermodel pretty, but it’s all a matter of opinion. It seems to me like a lot of people think she’s less pretty just because of all the negative attention she gets. In my opinion, there are shinier fishing lures in the ocean (heh heh). In reality, she is actually quite pretty. and if you say she’s ugly you’re just lying to yourself. (unless you’re talking about inside, where it really counts haha).
Yes, yes, I congratulate you for being very creative, Creator. It’s that time of year again, and I just got this picture in a chain email. These pumpkins seem to be displaying facial expressions that make them look like they got drunk. The orange “Faces” are propped up next to old bottles of beer and wine glasses that most likely came from the people/person who carved the faces. It looks like it could be on a front porch, but it also looks like it could possibly be a back porch. There are cactus-like plants to the side of the stair-way where the pumpkins rest.
Not that anyone would care to look at this issues of a Halloween symbol on the front porch when all of the little kids are walking around looking for candy from their neighbors. Someone pilotting a plain, or car could glance at this porch from a distance, gaze, gasp, ooh and awe at the scene, just before veering to the left, or right… depending on the direction they’re going, and crash into a nearby child, or bus full of children!! Not only could that possibly happen, but they have the vomit all wrong. Has anyone’s barf ever been skin-color? I highly doubt it, although your barf might be quite orange do to stomach acid… OH SHI- But, since our insides aren’t the color of our skin, and the pumpkins insides clearly are the same color as their outer-coat… that must mean. That… that… they aren’t human, they’re not even an animal so they couldn’t even possibly done this?
I now know something I never imagined could possibly be true. People, take the time to analyze a random photograph, preferably one without a family member, or other loved one in it. This is because, analyzing a photo could lead you to find life-changing truths about the objects in the photo, and nobody likes change. We liek mudkipz though, and that’s the way things should stay.
I’ve honestly seen more parodies of this video than I’ve seen the video itself. In fact, i haven’t watched the numa numa guy for atleast a year, until now. Everyone should take a time to reminisce, and watch the original numa numa guy, after watching the parodies, immitations, and newer versions for south park, pork and beans, and wannabe cool through douchebaggory youtubers.
Watch as this average fatass, loses all control and displays the retard within him. In truth, we are all at least a little bit retarded, it depends on how self-conscious you are, and how many people are similar to you. Or maybe, just a little less deep… Hidden Cams make people retarded.
Ok, so while this isn’t quite as awesome as actually having Pokemon Red Version on the original gameboy, it is close to equal in awesomeness. Finally deciding to use my brain, I remembered that everything can be found on the internet. So by searching for “Pokemon Red Online” I was able to figure out how to play Pokemon Red Version on the computer. Now, if you have been following my struggles trying to find Pokemon Red Version, you’d know how cool this is to me. I’m dissapointed that nobody just told me it was possible to play gameboy games on the computer with a simple emulator! Shame on all Blog Readers for not speaking up… Write a blog or something DAMN!
But, just so everyone has an easy way to figure out how to do what I figured out how to do, I’ll link to some useful materials.
I'm really just a human, so there isn't anything very interesting for me to say about myself. I think the the actual content of the blog will remain the most interesting part of the blog. Regardless of what I put here in this little box about myself. Here's a picture of Myself;
Here’s a cartoon to lighten the mood, and hate for McCain (which I didn’t draw, but ripped from an article found through digg). Based on the internet’s popular belief that McCain sucks, it’s becoming more and more apparent that he might not win this election. Of course it was always possible that he could lose the election, it’s just… more obvious that he will lose now.
